Be jealous of your own life.
It may sounds strange to say, but your life is worthy of jealousy. You have a million fantastic things going for you that other people wish they had, that other people admire. Seeing your life through another’s eyes should be so easy to practice. We’re constantly interacting with other people and their viewpoints, are we not? People make a comment about your work ethic after you berate yourself for not working hard enough. see yourself as a hard worker. People comment on your poise after you chastise yourself for being clumsy. see yourself as graceful.
Things aren’t always the way they seem. Things aren’t always the way you think they are.
There are a couple instances that jump into mind for me. Last year, I was talking a housemate and they asked me if I was flying business class back home. HA! I responded. Of course not! My parents might have abnormal money spending priorities, but unwarranted first class plane tickets home aren’t one of them. An image of how he saw me flashed through my mind. The New Yorker who does whatever she wants and is friends with a girl who owns a mulberry bag. A MacBook Pro owner who flies several times a year and chose to go to a terribly posh university. The girl in Churchill hall. Sure, I may be those things, but his interpretation of them was completely different from my reality. I was jealous of my own life for that moment because, while it might not be any of those things, it was exciting and glamorous for my housemate from Cambridgeshire (which sounds terribly exciting to me).
Then my friend with the mulberry bag had a twentieth birthday party and invited her friends studying medicine (for those who do not attend an english uni: she invited her friends who are able to drink truly stunning amounts). I was talking to one of them, telling them about my then-future year abroad. I told them I was going to be in a town near Milan. Their near instant response, with rum and shot of coke in hand, was “OH MY GOSH. You’re from New York, you’re going to Milan, you go to university abroad, that’s so cool. I’m just a girl from a Blaenau Ffestiniog with a funny welsh accent.” To which I said, “but to me that’s so cool.” And it really was. It is.
You’re life is more exciting than it seems on the inside. My housemate wasn’t able to see the interminable hours I spend flying over Newfoundland. The Welsh medic didn’t understand that I wasn’t particularly enthused about being from America and would much prefer to be living in London and taking summer trips to Nice, Madrid and Bruges. None of that mattered. And it shouldn’t matter. Our lives and our worlds are exactly as they need to be.
There is someone who is jealous of you. I am BEYOND 100% positive. It may be wrong to use jealousy as an emotion to make you feel better, but this often nasty emotion can morph into a feeling that is, dare I say, positive. Perhaps someone is jealous of your straight hair, you towering height, your mad computer skills, your knowledge of french or your ability to endure plane take-off with out shutting your eyes and reminding yourself that the plane is not, in fact, falling backwards into the ground. You don’t know. You have so many more skills, so many more blessings, so many more enviable traits than you realize, so try looking at your life with outside eyes. You might be surprised at what you find.
Why would someone be jealous of your life? Is there any one thing you find yourself being jealous about in other people?