A Slurpable Newsletter

City Java smoothies

Happy Tuesday Slurp employees! Here’s your daily smoothie spill:

-Today our corporate chefs introduce spring’s new smoothie: MintyPower! A blend of mint green tea, pea protein powder and frozen banana, this dreamy drink will reinvigorate and refresh you. Special introductory price: $8.40 for 12 oz (add-ins charged as normal).

-We are missing a box of 18 oz domed plastic lids. They should have arrived in yesterday’s Carefree delivery. Find them. We need them for this weekend’s Quarters for Orphans Walkathon.

-Regarding greetings: do not say hey, hiya or hello. Say ‘Hi’. ‘Hi’ balances friendly and professional. You say ‘hi’ to your friends. ‘Hi’ welcomes our guests into our home. Say. Hi.

-Please, for the love of acai powder, always ask: ‘would like an extra large straw with that?’ We’ve had a spate of customer complaints about standard sized straws falling into extra large smoothies. No one wants green smoothie on summer whites.

-Employees must wear clean t-shirts. Spills, stains, and slits will not be tolerated. No customer wants to see a cashier smudged with brown maca powder. If you require another piece of uniform, ask facilities manager Anniko Uula for the employee catalogue. Ditto name badges.

-For the love of the smoothie deities (or deity, we’re proudly poly-denominational!), don’t stuff odorous cheeses, meats, sandwich spreads, shoes, socks, drinks or perfumes in your employee lockers. You’ll explain the aroma to the cleaning crew.

-Our monthly Slurp-rientation for new employees will take place next Friday 6/13 from 6:00 pm to 8:00 pm. Please inform your shift manager if you are scheduled to work during this time. Attendance is mandatory for all new hires. Your imaginary Aunt Sally falling “ill” is not an excuse. If she’s truly ill, you can send her an invigorating lemon-ginger-turmeric smoothie.

-And, as always, today’s forecast: cloudy and humid in the morning with a 15% chance of rain until 12 pm (the beginning of the lunch rush!!). Sunny in the afternoon, with intermittent cloud coverage and climbing humidity toward the evening (estimated to be approximately 80% by 5:50 pm). Low of 63, high of 74.

And that’s it for your daily Slurp!! Have a Slurpable day!!
Mindy Harman
Employee Liason for Slurp Industries (a better way to smoothie!)


Image: Flickr via Ken Hawkins


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